500 Tabs, Links and a Weekend Smile Primer

Plus a bonus video to remind you that we've come a long way, baby!

500 Tabs. Some of you may know what I’m talking about here. I only recently learned. No, I’m not talking about stockpiles of the diet soda in the pink can from our youth (which ran some seriously *sexist ads in the 70’s, but I digress). For the uninitiated, 500 tabs in this context refers to the maximum number of tabs you can have open at a time on your iPhone. How do I know this? See visual aid below. Why do I keep letting it come to this? Well, that’s a deeper question, I think.

I might have a problem

I’d like to say that this is an isolated issue, and that I don’t allow the same proliferation of open tabs to occur on my laptop. But I can’t. There are times I have so many open tabs that my computer starts to make a noise like a car engine that might just be on the brink of overheating. Every now and then my husband will walk by, shake his head and say, emphatically, “close some of those tabs!” followed immediately by something like “this is the same thing going on in your brain; this is why you can’t sleep!” To which I want to scream (and sometimes do) “I CAN’T SLEEP BECAUSE I’M A 55 YEAR OLD WOMAN!” This is also where I remind him that he snores like a farm animal.

My husband has good tab hygiene. Me, not so much. 

Arrow points to my very full row of tabs. Jumping cat is a bonus smile primer! BTW the article I’m reading here is linked below and well worth a click

It’s ironic that I’ve gotten pretty good at minding the other areas of my life when it comes to purging and letting go of things I no longer need. I joked to a friend recently that I’ve become ninja-like when it comes to closet edits, ruthlessly and regularly purging over the last several years, donating and selling, and keeping things mostly organized. But when it comes to the tabs (and emails from my 4 different e-mail accounts, another issue in itself), I fear I might be a virtual hoarder. 

Unlike a closet, though, the tabs don’t take up any physical space, which might explain the lack of urgency to clear them. I’m not consciously thinking about the overload until my phone declares that it can’t possibly open another page, or my computer sounds like it’s about to take flight. But still, why don’t I just shut them down? Is this some kind of weird character flaw? Do I have undiagnosed ADHD? Very possibly. My husband affectionately refers to me as AD(DINA).  

Does any of this really matter anyway (as long as my devices don’t spontaneously combust)? 

I actually think maybe it does matter, because all of those tiny tabs feel like little bits of unfinished business. Like a to-do list that will never, ever be fully checked off. And even if I’m not consciously thinking about them, they are, in some way, taking up mental space. Because on some level, I know that they are there- the unread articles, the links I intend to share, the recipes I want to try, the jeans (shoes, blazer, candle…) I might buy, the Tibi Style Class on YouTube I pulled up but didn’t have time to watch. All things vying for my attention, distracting me from the many tasks at hand.  

When I was thinking about why I let it get to computer-bending proportions as I often do, I started to read about the reasons people hoard things (or in my particular case, tabs). Per the Mayo Clinic, one may save items, among other reasons, because of a belief that they are unique or may be needed at some point; because there is an emotional attachment to the items; and because there may be a feeling of safety or comfort when surrounded by said items.

This actually tracks for me when applied to my tab context. Often I keep an article open because something about it grabbed me and I might want to reference it at some (indeterminate) later date. I may also be emotionally attached to the idea of constant learning and satisfying my curiosity (or itch) by reading, buying, watching, etc. In this way, the tabs feel like a collection of infinite possibilities. And finally, for me, there is comfort in the accessibility of information. It’s possible that I’m scarred from all of that microfiche scanning I did in college in the 80’s, laboriously searching for articles one at a time! But I’ve also felt this way about books (the tabs of my youth) all my life- being surrounded by them brings me comfort- always something to learn, worlds to escape to, characters to meet. 

Ostensibly, none of that sounds so bad, right? But when I think about the practical effects of hoarding on a physical space- the unusable countertops, the impassable hallways, the tripping hazards- and apply that to my mental space, well that’s a little scary, and where I think my husband may have a point. I need to free up some capacity.

I could start by applying the popular closet cleaning theory to this situation, i.e., for every tab I open, I must also close one. But the math doesn’t really math for a meaningful clearing when there are 500 open on my phone- that just keeps me at status quo. 

At the risk of being labeled Captain Obvious, here are some of the simple things I’ve started to do to improve my tab hygiene:

• I’m reviving my Pinterest account, creating very specific boards to pin articles, recipes, etc. so I can go back and reference when I actually (not theoretically) need them.

• I’m using the save feature on digital sites like the NYT and WSJ.

• I’m copying and pasting links to articles that I intend to share here and keeping them in a document with a short synopsis for each.

• I’m bookmarking pages I find myself returning to often.

• I’m using reverse Google look-up if there’s a picture I’ve saved of something I’m trying to track down

• I’m immediately closing the impulse tabs like the ones I open when watching TV or a movie and need to know something like “what year was this movie made?” or the answer to some other totally inconsequential question.

• And finally, in the spirit of clean starts, after a quick review I’m going to hold my breath and click the “close all tabs” button as seen above on my iPhone (because I probably wasn’t going to bake those muffins anyway!).

I’m not sure that all of this will result in a better night’s sleep, because remember, I’m a 55-year old woman (with a wonky internal thermostat), but maybe my tab shedding will translate into fewer mental tabs open as I try to power down, hit the pillow and fall asleep to the dulcet sounds of the farm…

*Seriously, watch the Tab ad from the 70’s- it’s absolute cringe on every level and you almost have to see it to believe it. And while there is still much work to do, it serves as reminder that we’ve come a long way, baby!

Mood Salad Links

I digest a lot of content as I read, listen and watch through my midlife lens, and I’ll share links with you that I find interesting, funny, delicious, or otherwise worth a quick click. 

I loved this piece by Jessica Bennett who asks the question “just how radical was it for Ms. Carol, 80, to demand she was worth something.”

How to feel better about your never-ending to-do list (hint, small wins count!).

Newly empty nest? There’s a coach for that!

Strength, beauty and wisdom on display in this 50 over 50 Project.

Carla Hall on the fabulosity of turning 60.

I’ve gone down some serious rabbit holes as I get ready to watch this anthology series and can’t wait to swim with the swans.

I’ve been cooking my way through the Love and Lemons website, and this vegan spinach and artichoke dip is next on my list.

Weekend Smile Primer

Just a little something to start your weekend with a smile! It might be a photo I’ve snapped or come across, a funny meme (are those still a thing?), or anything that made me stop and delight in the moment.

In keeping with theme… Photo @londonstreetart Instagram

Grateful you are here! If you like what you see, hit the ❤️ above!

Until next time…Dina xx