Bits & Pieces #5
Remembering Dr. Ruth, easy fish tacos, summer whites & mood salad links and recs…
Welcome to Friday Bits and Pieces, a monthly-ish peek at some of the little bits and pieces of my life. Here I share things that power me from day to day; what I’m making, wearing, using on repeat, reading, listening to, etc. The stuff that enhances my life, makes it easier, lights me up, or otherwise makes me feel good; stuff I hope will do the same for you.
Sometimes I’ll toss a little essay into the mix; today I’m remembering Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the pioneering sex educator (and so much more) whom we lost last week.
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Catholic school is not exactly the best place to earn your sex ed bonafides; add to that an overprotective father and three older brothers standing guard (one who told me my lips would turn to stone if I kissed a boy), and let’s just say my knowledge in that area was not exactly encyclopedic. My mom did give me the book Our Bodies, Ourselves when I was probably a freshman in high school, but it just wasn’t something we talked about much at home. Enter Dr. Ruth, who fearlessly tackled the taboo topic, taking it out of the shadows and onto the radio waves (and later TV and books) and providing much-needed education to the public (and to information-starved Catholic school kids everywhere!). I used to listen in high school on a transistor radio under my pillow at night, captivated by her distinctive voice and the openness with which she talked about it all.
Beyond her pioneering work in the field, Dr. Ruth was an inspiration on many levels. In a piece I read after her death, I learned that she would use the phrase tikkun olam- Hebrew for “repairing the world” to describe her sense of purpose. In an IG series I did back in 2021 about women who achieved great things in the second half, I wrote about her extraordinary life, and the fact that her famous radio show did not come to be until she was 50 years old. At the time I wrote it, she was 92 and still very much engaged in her work, and I wanted to share it again to honor her memory and her important legacy.
Inspiring Women featuring Dr. Ruth Westheimer from Patina blog 2021:
Today’s topic is the iconic sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, who at 92 is still going and remains meaningfully engaged in her work.
Dr. Ruth has a truly fascinating background- she was born in Germany but at the age of 10 was sent to live in Switzerland when the Nazis came to power. It was meant to be a temporary safe haven, but tragically, her parents and grandmother were killed, and she became an orphan of the Holocaust. At 17, she emigrated to Israel, where she became a sniper for the Haganah- she never killed anyone, but was herself seriously injured in the 1948 Arab-Israeli War, nearly losing her legs in an explosion. She recovered and moved to France, where she studied Psychology at the Sorbonne, and then to the US, where she continued her education at The New School in New York City. She earned her Masters degree in Sociology in 1959, and several jobs followed (Research Assistant, Project Director at Planned Parenthood, teacher) before her radio show came to be.
Sexually Speaking debuted on local radio in New York City in 1980 when Dr. Ruth was 50 years old. She didn’t set out to be a media star; she had given a talk to a group of New York broadcasters about the importance of sex education, and it so impressed a station manager at WYNY-FM (also a woman) that she was given a show. It was so popular that in 1984, NBC syndicated it nationwide (I used to sneak a transistor radio under my pillow to listen). She has also hosted several TV shows and written 45 books on sex and sexuality. She was revolutionary for bringing the topic of sex out in the open and educating the public on important matters that were formerly taboo.
When asked in an interview with the Harvard Business Review if she ever thinks about retiring, she had this to say: “Never. I believe not in retiring but in rewiring…” Her life is such an extraordinary example on so many levels. She survived unthinkable tragedy, persevered through it all, and continued to thrive into her 90’s.
Rest in Peace Dr. Ruth…
Currently Making: Easy Fish Tacos
These fish tacos are a summer crowd pleaser in my home, and are pretty simple to make. I love to use local, freshly caught fish, a healthy and sustainable choice. There’s so much great nutrition here- the white fish is protein-rich and vitamin packed (especially B vitamins, which are very important to us in the peri/menopause years), the avocados, which are full of healthy fats, fiber, vitamins and minerals, and the slaw, packed with cabbage, a cruciferous vegetable that has been shown to reduce inflammation and has cancer-fighting properties.
I typically look at multiple recipes when I want to make a dish, then adapt to come up with my own version, which is what I’ve done here. Editors note: I loathe cilantro, which would work well in this recipe if you like it, but not in my kitchen LOL!
What you’ll need:
FOR THE FISH:
1lb Light white fish (I like to use a fresh local fish like fluke, monkfish or mahi-mahi)
1 Lime, juiced
¼ Cup EVOO
1 Tsp Salt
Organic Blue or Yellow Taco Shells or Tortillas of your choice
DIRECTIONS: Whisk together the lime juice, evoo and salt in a bowl, place fish in a dish or ziplock bag and pour over to marinate for about 15 minutes. Refrigerate while marinating.
FOR THE MANGO SALSA:
1 Mango, cut into small pieces (I usually buy already cut because doing it myself with that giant pit in the middle intimidates me!)
1 Avocado, sliced, pitted and cut into small pieces
5 Cherry Tomatoes, chopped
1 Garlic Clove, minced (a microplane makes easy work of this)
½ Tsb Chopped Jalapeno (optional)
¼-1/2 Tsp salt (to taste)
1 Lime, juiced
½ TBS EVOO
1 Small Red Onion chopped (optional)
DIRECTIONS: Put all ingredients into a bowl and pour in the lime juice and EVOO- mix well and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
FOR THE SIMPLE SLAW:
1 Bag Shredded Green & Red Cabbage w/ Carrots
¼ Cup Avocado Oil Mayo
3 TBS Apple Cider Vinegar
1 TSP Dijon Mustard
½ TSP Salt
¼ TSP Pepper
DIRECTIONS: Whisk the mayo, vinegar, mustard salt and pepper in a large bowl. Add the bag of shredded cabbage and mix together well. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes
WHAT TO DO WITH IT ALL:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees
Following the directions above, make the salsa and slaw first to give those dishes time to marry and develop the flavors
Transfer the marinated fish to a lined baking dish (I pour a bit of the marinade on top) and bake for approximately 15 minutes (longer for thicker filets). I always use a food thermometer to ensure doneness- for fish it should be at least 145 degrees or until flesh is no longer translucent and separates easily with a fork.
Remove from oven and let it cool for 5ish minutes
Shred the fish into smaller chunks with a fork (taste and add more lime and salt if needed).
Fill your taco shells or tortillas with the fish, top with slaw and salsa and enjoy!
Currently Wearing: Summer Whites
White in the summer? Groundbreaking, I know. Truthfully, I wear white all year-round, and love the effect of mixing different tones and textures to add interest and depth. As to the question of whether it’s really cooler than wearing, say, black when it’s hot out, well, apparently it’s complicated. And trying to stay cool in a heatwave like we experienced in NYC this past week is a little like trying to eat just one potato chip- close to impossible! But since walking around naked isn’t an option, I opted for some light monochrome looks to keep me feeling stylish while I melted.
I love the versatility of a slip dress and how it easily transitions from day to night. On left for day, with flats and mesh sweater tied around waist to add tone and texture (and warmth for aggressive air conditioning), and on right for dinner with some surprisingly comfortable heels and a necklace swap. I would also tie the same sweater around my shoulders at night, or drape a light blazer. The shoes were a splurge but both are modern classics and cost per wear will end up being very reasonable.
I wore this to my son’s surprise 30th birthday party last weekend when temps were up into the 90’s. I wanted to feel tailored but casual, and went with a cotton vest and my favorite old feather weight Rag & Bone wide leg jeans that I got second hand on the Real Real several years ago. Did I stay cool in this look? With the malfunctioning air conditioning in the party room, sadly, no! But I felt great anyway (lots of love in the room likely contributed!). As far as accessories, the gold and pearl necklace added interest (linked below), as did the raffia bag and rope belt, which is old but you can head to Michael’s and DIY or check this one out on Etsy.
Back in my favorite second hand jeans (taken last winter in Miami), this time with a simple ribbed white tank and a braided tonal leather belt. The stacked pendant necklaces add a layer when it’s too hot for anything else.
Trying out some looks for tonight’s dinner with friends, anchored by my favorite Tibi skirt that I first saw on Miami BFF
. On left is a mesh top that I impulse purchased at Target on a paper towel run (anyone else??)- it’s sold out but this one is fun. On right with an old v-neck should pad tee (similar here). The cowrie shell belt is an old repurposed necklace (similar here). Popped in some color with these gorg sandals that I have been living in and some yummy arm candy.
Above jellies hit me hard with nostalgia- I think I owned the same pair when I was 13 years old. I (re)discovered them here on style Substack a while back via the excellent
newsletter The Love List (featured among others as an alternative to the MUCH more expensive The Row version). Necklace by me (shameless plug) and you can find here if interested…Mood Salad Links & Recs:
Katie Fogarty, host of the must-listen A Certain Age Podcast just launched a sister pod, The Midlife Book Club. I’m always looking for my next book, and could not be more excited for this one, which centers on midlife voices and stories. Join Katie and listen to this awesome “podcast for readers with readers!”
Speaking of books, I reached into the pile and pulled out Hot And Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause by Jancee Dunn after my friend and fellow Substacker
reminded me about it. Reading it feels a bit like sitting with a well-informed girlfriend, and with chapters like “Why Did I Walk Into This Room Again” and “The Dry Vagina Monologues,” you’ll laugh as you learn!And speaking of my friend Dina, I loved her most recent piece, so cleverly titled The Devil Wears Nada about her midlife style evolution. (via Substack)
From The Devil Wears Nada to The Devil Wears Prada, last week Puck reported that there may be a sequel in the works- be still my heart! It’s actually one of the very few movies I can watch repeatedly and also largely recite from memory (did you catch my reference above?). I loved this piece by
about how the industry has changed since the original film was released in 2006, and the potential for what a new version might look like in this new media landscape. (via Substack)Science has given us many tools to hack our longevity, but this piece reminds us that when we focus too much on extending the number of years in our lives, we risk missing out on actually living. (via NYT gifted article)
I will leave you with this incredibly thought-provoking piece from
about letting go of the youthful self and transitioning mindfully into “young elderhood.” (via Substack)
Thank you so much for reading! Please hit the❤️ if you enjoyed to help others discover us here. And if there’s someone you think would appreciate, please share!
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Have a wonderful weekend… Dina xx
SO MANY TREATS. The neon jellies may be calling my name. I KNOW the Devil Wears Prada sequel is! Mostly YOU are. XOXO
I could not love your mother more, giving you that book...what does one say to a mother who knows her daughter could gain the knowledge she needed from a well written book? Also - love the recipes and thank you for putting those jellies on my radar! I wear them on repeat. And for the shout out, I appreciate you immensely.