Welcome to Friday Bits and Pieces, a monthly-ish peek at some of the little bits and pieces of my life. Here I share things that power me from day to day; what I’m making, wearing, reading, listening to, etc. The stuff that enhances my life, makes it easier, lights me up, or otherwise makes me feel good; stuff I hope will do the same for you.
Sometimes I’ll toss a little essay into the mix; today I’m reviving a mini essay inspired by prolific writer Gail Sheehy, who helped so many navigate life stages through her wildly popular Passages books, and instilled a “better with age” ethos with her exploration of how we move through time.
A Seasoned Woman is Spicy
Sometimes a theme just unfolds! A few weeks back my friend Sarah, aka The Flexible Neurotic posted this reel that starts “good fu*king morning you spicy enchilada!” which cracked me up and wormed its way into my ear, playing on a loop for days. It reminded me of a mini IG essay I had written a couple of years ago inspired by the writer Gail Sheehy, who once said “a seasoned woman is spicy…” I re-read it and made a mental note to share here, but like many of my mental notes, it blew away in the swift wind of my next thought! Until earlier this week, when in pilates class the teacher gave an optional modification to make a move spicy; it was then I remembered, mid-lunge, and it was also then that I decided I would have a spicy marg that night (recipe below!). So thanks to lots of spicy talk, here’s what I had to say about Sheehy’s quote (and the picture I chose to accompany it) back in 2022:
“A seasoned woman is spicy. She has been marinated in life experience. . . She can be alternately sweet, tart, bubbly, mellow. She can be maternal and playful. Bossy and submissive. Strong and soft. . . The seasoned woman knows who she is. She could be any one of us, as long as she is committed to living fully and passionately in the second half of life.” -Gail Sheehy
PS this is when the algorithm used to show my posts to people!
I’ve had this quote saved for a while now, and when I was scrolling my photos and came across this one, it just felt like the right image to attach to it. No filter, fine lines, brown spots, a little fuzz; and looking, well, a little, seasoned. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade any of it. Because for me, one of the great gifts of midlife is the freedom that comes with self-acceptance. It’s not to say there aren’t struggles or insecure moments, but there’s something so empowering about really knowing who you are, appreciating your value and drawing on that energy and confidence to make the choices that enable you to live the life you want. For many of us, when we are young we spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think, and contorting ourselves to fit in ways that can be painful and exhausting. But when we start to genuinely accept ourselves, that desire, that need to be accepted by others tends to dissipate, paving the way to contentment.
I’ve always thought about perspective in a very literal way. In my mind, it’s only when you are able to step back from a time, a place, a situation, etc., that you can really see the larger picture. And that expanded perspective has a way of clearing the field of vision, and along with it, the minefields of our youth. And what remains is all that we’ve learned from it- from the trials, the struggles, the triumphs, the failures- the wisdom that comes from living.
Sheehy wrote beautifully about the midlife passage, and I intend to keep marinating and striving to live passionately and fully in the second half. I can’t think of a better way to move forward…
Currently Making: Spicy-ish Turkey Zucchini Meatballs and in keeping with theme, Spicy Margs
Okay these aren’t really spicy meatballs, but they do contain cayenne pepper which gives them a little heat. This is not an original recipe- it comes from the gorgeous cookbook Jerusalem by Yotam Ottolenghi and Sam Tamimi, and in it these flavorful bites are called burgers, but I prefer them in meatball form. I am also obsessed with zucchini at this time of year, and this is a great place to use some of the abundance. To shortcut you can buy tzatziki or other yogurt sauce, but lately I’ve been using a dairy-free lebneh from Cocojune (DF friends, this is SO good) and mixing with little salt, lemon and garlic to make my own.
For the meatballs:
1 pound ground turkey
1 large zucchini, coarsely grated (I use my box grater)
3 green onions, thinly sliced
1 large free-range egg
2 tablespoons chopped mint
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro (I leave this out due to my extreme aversion!)
2 cloves garlic, chopped (I make easy work of this with a microplane)
1 small clove garlic, chopped or grated on microplane
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon sumac
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
How to make:
First make the sauce by placing all ingredients in a small bowl. Stir well and set aside or chill until needed. Or skip and purchase tzatziki sauce!
Preheat the oven to 425°F. In a large bowl, combine all the ingredients except the oil. Mix with your hands and then shape into meatballs- I usually get about seven of them per pound of turkey.
Pour enough oil into a large frying pan to form a layer about 1/16 inch thick on the pan bottom. Heat over medium heat until hot, then sear the meatballs in batches on all sides. Cook each batch for about 4 minutes, adding oil as needed, until golden brown.
Carefully transfer the seared meatballs to a baking sheet lined with waxed paper and place in oven for 5 to 7 minutes, or until just cooked through.
These can be served hot or at room temperature. I spoon the sauce over and serve on bed of rice with some salad on the side.
For the (Skinny) Spicy Margaritas:
This one from Malibu Farm in NYC is much prettier than what mine typically look like!
I am not a fan of sweet drinks, hence the skinny, but you can add in 1/2 oz simple syrup or agave, or even a splash or orange juice to make sweeter.
1.5 oz tequila (or 2 if your feeling bold!)
1 oz Cointreau
1 oz lime
2 slices Jalapeño
Tajín or salt for rim (run a lime wedge along the edge to prep glass, pour Tajín or salt in a plate and dip/spin glass around until coated)
Muddle all ingredients, add ice, shake, and strain into your ice-filled glass! And if you’re feeling fancy, you can garnish with a jalapeño slice…
My Spiciest (new) Outfit:
Truth be told, I haven’t gotten dressed a whole lot this month, and I’m not mad about it! I’ve mostly alternated between a Uniqlo tube top with my Lunya lounge pants (first seen on my friend
, and saw a little lace trimmed silk Dôen cami and skirt that got stuck in my brain-another mental note made. I had seen the Elowen skirt before and loved it, but something about the rich, chocolate-y color of this one really spoke to me. However, remember what I said earlier about my mental notes blowing away?? Well, this one did too, until I took my niece to Sag Harbor last week and popped into the Dôen store— there it was, calling out to me. I haven’t worn it yet but am playing with styling ideas. I don’t usually by matching sets but I knew there would be multiple ways to wear each piece.
It’s really beautiful (and a little spicy) worn together, with its deep v and lingerie vibe.
Here it is together- isn’t the color gorgeous? Love it with these Khaite sandals.
To take some of the precious out of the skirt, I paired it with a v-neck tee (similarhere) and slides, and toughened it up a little with a short sleeve sweatshirt, paired with gold Tkees and my favorite summer market bag and sunglasses. It seems in these shots I’ve lost a bit of my head, which, with menopause and all, tracks!
I’ll play with some warmer fall looks in a future newsletter when I’m not having a mid-August hot flash!
Mood Salad Links & Recs:
Including Gail Sheehy’s NYT obituary here if you want to read more about this brilliant, insightful woman. (gift link via NYT)
What do power tools have to do with female empowerment? (via abc.net.au
Will we ever stop scrutinizing and judging women, particularly older women, for what we wear?? Sadly, probably not, but Halle Berry doesn’t give a fu*k! (via The Atlanta Black Star)
An interesting explanation about why we feel so good when we are near the water, which is always and forever my happy place. (via The Good Trade)
I love that we finally have the Forbes 50 over 50 list to spotlight the most amazing women and the incredible things that are possible in midlife. (via Forbes)
A new study examines molecular aging and reminds us to take good care of our health. (gift link via WAPO)
And finally, for a little harmony in your life, try this Lake Street Dive Radio play list that I’ve been listening to on repeat!
I’m going to take a little break for the rest of the month while I work on an exciting project with some new deadlines, a book that I’ll share more about in the coming months. It’s related to all of the things we talk about here, so if you enjoy this space I think you’ll love it! I can’t wait to tell you more…
Thank you so much for reading! Please hit the❤️ if you enjoyed to help others discover us here. And if there’s someone you think would appreciate, please share!
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I’m making the spicy meatballs, if I was drinking I’d pair it with that cocktail 🍸 I love the glam on the pics and recs as always, you know bits and pieces is my fave monthly post. Always a great post xx
I’m making the spicy meatballs, if I was drinking I’d pair it with that cocktail 🍸 I love the glam on the pics and recs as always, you know bits and pieces is my fave monthly post. Always a great post xx
PS: I forgot to say hugely exciting about the book project – can’t wait!!! 🎉🙌💫