Yes You Can, One Step at a Time...
Reflections on launching Midlife Private Parts, a peek inside our launch events plus excerpts, podcasts, tour dates, and women you need to know!
Hello beautiful readers! It’s been a minute!
These last few months have been a full-on whirlwind leading into the book launch, with more moving parts than I ever imagined. From constant pitching and working publicity angles, prepping and taping podcasts, managing social media, planning and getting ready for launch events, partnering with brands to assemble the most amazing swag bags, putting together a book tour, and dealing with the day-to-day and the range of emotions that flowed through, it’s been all-consuming. And like life, it has been all of the things- there has been great joy and beautiful wins, there have been disappointments and frustrations, moments of great confidence and moments of panic and anxiety, constant learning, calibrating and recalibrating, and on and on.
Mostly, though, it’s been one of the most gratifying experiences of my life, one made all the richer because I did not do it alone. I understand now in the most meaningful way the true power of collaboration and the creative energy that comes from partnering with similarly mission-driven humans. None of this would be possible without my friend and coeditor
(hence, our moniker, the Dinas!) and without the 25 incredible, generous, women who said yes to us and who trusted us with their stories.If you are new here (welcome!), Midlife Private Parts is an anthology featuring 27 writers and a beautiful poet, all sharing deeply personal stories about navigating the many facets of midlife with truth, with heart, and with good humor. The essays touch on a variety of relatable topics like reinvention and rediscovery, peri/menopause, reclaiming sexual pleasure, empty nests, facing inevitable loss and grief, feeling invisible (or not), and redefining style and what it means to age “gracefully,” among many other things. We put together the book we wanted to read- one that reflects the real experiences of midlife women without sugarcoating or platitudes, and one that will leave readers feeling seen, heard, understood, and hopeful. As contributor Katie Fogarty of A Certain Age Podcast says, we are saying the quiet parts out loud! And when enough of us do, we have the power to shift the cultural conversation and to change the way we, as individuals and as a society, think about age.
It’s been two weeks since the book launched (with a truly special, electric event hosted by She Media’s Flow Space that you can read about here), and now that I’ve had a minute to catch my breath, I think I’m finally absorbing the magnitude of it all and the fact that this very book’s existence is perhaps the best example of some of what I hope it conveys- that you are not alone, that it is never too late, that you are not too old, that saying yes with intention is a superpower, that getting out of your comfort zone is key to growth, and that you don’t have to have all of the answers to start something new.
When I made a career pivot to writing in the midlife space 5.5 years ago, I was excited to shift gears and shine light on a time of life that was largely ignored in our youth-obsessed culture. As a woman who was starting to move into midlife, I didn’t see myself or my experiences reflected in any of the content I was consuming, and that often left me feeling very alone as I started to navigate some of the unexpected physical, emotional, and relational shifts I was experiencing. I spent chunks of my 40s trying to figure out what the hell was going on (because no one was talking about perimenopause), and what was next (because I knew I needed a change). So I set out in earnest to create a space to explore midlife in all of its messiness and in all of its glory- to create the content and community that I couldn’t find. After a few years of marinating and doing some research, I finally got up the nerve in 2020 at the age of 51 to launch the Patina blog that is now this newsletter you are reading.
But if you told me then that 5 years later I’d be holding a published book in my hands, that I would have co-created it with a new friend and creative partner I met in my 50s, and that together we would connect with and bring 26 brilliant, beautiful midlife women together to share their stories and disrupt a BS aging narrative, I might not have believed you. In fact, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have.
Truthfully, I’m still a bit in awe, and there were times on the 2.5 year road to Pub Day that I wasn’t sure it would happen. We honestly didn’t entirely know where to start, but we started anyway. Moving toward it, one step at a time, one day at a time. I stopped worrying about so much of the stuff that used to hold me back when I was younger. Worrying about what other people would think. Worrying about being judged. Worrying about showing vulnerability. Worrying that it wouldn’t be good enough. That I wouldn’t be good enough. So much worrying. And shedding that baggage of my youth has freed me and fueled my creativity in this 2nd half in ways I never imagined.
If there’s something you are dreaming about, something that makes you feel, something that keeps floating around in your mind, let yourself explore it. Because you never know where it will take you, how it will expand you, or how it might enhance your life. Shifts don’t have to be sweeping, giant overnight changes or blaring declarations of NEW. To quote Lao Tzu, which I’ve done more than once when being interviewed about the book, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
One single step, then another, then another, led to a beautiful book featuring a chorus of gorgeous midlife voices telling truth, shining light, and helping us all to change the way we think about age!
Yes you can- we all can, when we are open, curious, and willing to leave our zones of comfort and lean into life and the unknown.
And if you need further proof, order your copy of Midlife Private Parts (signed copies available here via Zibby’s Bookshop!) and read these incredible, hopeful stories of women meeting midlife life head-on and moving into the next chapter with courage, curiosity and with great wisdom.
Midlife Private Parts News, Pods, and Book Tour!
Katie Couric Media excerpted essay “It’s All in Your Head” by Marian Adams
Hello Gloria excerpted essay Empty Nesting by Wendi Aarons
My Next Avenue companion piece My Mother’s Final Gift where I share some of my inspiration for co-creating Midlife Private Parts.
PODS:
A Certain Age Podcast with Katie Fogarty: listen here
Pleasure in the Pause with Gabriella Espinosa: watch, listen
Reinvention Rebels with Wendy Battles: listen here
Totally Booked Live with
: watch, listenAct3 Convening: listen
Come See Us On Tour! More dates to come…
Women You Need to Know: Midlife Private Parts Contributors
W/ Substack Links:
Thank you so much for spending a bit of your precious time with me! I’m going to try to get back to it now that I’ve come up for a sip of air as we move into our post-launch phase. If you enjoy this newsletter, you will love the book- it’s a perfect summer read, and one you’ll want to share with friends! Let me know what you think!
Have a wonderful weekend, and please hit the ❤️ if you enjoyed to help others find us here! Dina xx
One of the best experiences, the highlight of midlife, the wondery of meeting women from all walks of life who said yes sometimes still blows me away. Yet here we are, all of us, excited for the future! Wonderful post, thanks for gathering this all together and for doing this with me. Could never have done it without you!
P.S. you girls look incredible!! Those launch outfits!! 😍😍