Style Knows No Age
On the deeply personal nature of style, its impact on our psyche, and the ageism that takes up space in our closets. Plus, style inspo from the streets of NYC ...
Sometimes I feel like I have to tip-toe through conversations around age and style; it’s an intersection that tends to be rife with judgment, shaming, and inescapably, ageism. Women are held to impossible beauty standards, and that extends to what we wear and how we wear it. The fashion industry, like so many others, caters to and showcases youth as the standard, and although there is no overt anti-age language in fashion marketing like we see in the beauty industry, that messaging feels implicit. Open any magazine (to the extent they still exist) or fashion/e-commerce website, and you will be hard-pressed to find a woman over the age of 50.
We are underrepresented in this context as we are in so many others, and this is the very reason I like to have these conversations. It's another area where ageism sneaks in and perpetuates an outdated narrative that impacts the way the world views older women, and the way we view ourselves.
The other day I was walking through the West Village in NYC and spotted a striking young woman wearing a great mini skirt and matching crop top. For a moment I felt wistful. I actually had a memory of the first date I went on with my husband back in the early aughts- I wore a yummy camel colored suede mini from Banana Republic, and a loose, black long sleeve u-neck cotton tunic from J. Crew that I tucked in and bloused out. I remembered how I felt in that outfit (sexy and confident), and how he looked at me when we met on the street corner that night.
It was a lovely memory, and the wistful moment was just that- a moment. Divine confirmation came just steps down the road, when ironically I ran into the stylish young woman who helped me with my IG account in the early days, and the first thing she said to me was “you look great- love the outfit as always.” And I really was feeling great that day in my wide leg jeans, red sandals and tan trench jacket, an outfit completed by my homemade chunky gold and pearl necklace and signature hoop earrings.
The truth is there are definitely things I used to love wearing, like miniskirts, that I would never wear today, but not because I think there are “rules” to follow or that I’m too old to wear one. It’s simply because I wouldn’t feel like me- today’s version of me- in a short skirt. Conversely, there are also adaptations of things I once wore that I would (and do) wear today. But circling back to the beginning of this piece, I am careful with my words around this topic because I never want to make anyone feel like their choices are somehow wrong or inappropriate. I never want to perpetuate ageism. I can only speak for myself and the style principles that guide me.
As I see it now, feeling good in my skin is elemental to my personal style, and key to feeling put together in whatever clothes I happen to be wearing on any given day.
I think that we are constantly evolving in three-dimensional ways, even more so as we move through the inflection points in our lives. For me, style has always been an integral piece of who I am and an important visual form of communication, and it evolves along with the rest of me. While it hasn’t changed dramatically over the years- I am still drawn to modern takes on classics and minimalist vibes- I have become more experimental, less afraid of color, and importantly, less concerned about what anyone thinks of my sartorial choices. It’s hard to overstate what an outsized role that last factor plays, and it’s one of the reasons life, in many ways, gets better with age. Because that letting go frees us to truly be who we are in all areas, and in the style realm, shedding the shoulds and the mentality of must-haves opens us up to meaningfully expanding our style horizons.
In my first IG post back when I started the original blog, I talked about my love of fashion and style. I explained that I used to think it was superficial, incongruent with my career as a young attorney, but I realized as I got older that it ran much deeper. That it is a creative expression of self, and that it impacts the way we think, feel and act in a real way. Nothing superficial there. To that end, more recently I learned about a fascinating study entitled Enclothed Cognition that speaks to clothing and we wear and its influence on our psychology- it’s powerful stuff.
Since that post more than four years ago, I have immersed myself in the midlife and aging space, and I see how the thread of ageism that weaves its way through so much of our culture also runs through our closets and impacts the way we perceive and are perceived, and that warrants our attention regardless of where we stand on fashion.
I saw this dimensionality- this power of clothing- up-close in my first freelance gig after my midlife career pivot. I was writing and consulting in the style space for an online brand that was focused on the 40+ woman. Sadly, it no longer exists, but it was interesting to get off of the gram and into the heads of women who were not swimming in the fashion space. Many of our readers were in the midst of midlife transition; their lifestyles were changing, and so too were their bodies. Many found themselves regularly staring into a closet full of clothes that no longer fit, both literally and figuratively. We explored this inside out shape-shifting, and ultimately, in addition to sharing practical style advice, we talked about the importance of mindset, and framing this time not as an end, but as a catalyst for new beginnings; new possibilities and new stories to write. Stories that we can start to tell through the clothes we wear, transmitting to the world who we are (and who we want to be) now.
Earlier this week, Vogue posted an article entitled The Queens of Cannes are Fit, Fabulous and Over 50, and I loved seeing the spotlight on these incredible, talented, relevant women. It referred to the tide-shift we are finally (mercifully) starting to see in our culture (thanks to some fierce advocacy and beautifully loud voices of a generation of women who refuse to be dismissed). “It’s an exhaustive list of women who, in a different era, would have been subtly sidelined in the industry. Now, they’re the main event…” And it went on to note “a growing shift toward embracing the hallmarks of age (including grey hair).”
It may not be a giant leap for womankind, but I’ll take the small steps every day…
Bad Ass Women on the Streets of NYC
The Vogue article inspired me to channel my inner Bill Cunningham on the streets of NYC, where I am incredibly lucky to be surrounded by stylish women of a certain age. They exude effortless cool and confidence, and it’s clear they are choosing to dress for themselves. Younger women take note- style knows no age, and there is much to look forward to, both sartorially and otherwise. Here are some bad ass women I photographed this past week, and with all respect to the Hollywood starlets, it’s the wise, confident everyday woman who inspires me. I’m going to keep snapping away, and maybe add these street shots as a regular feature if you like…
I’m so grateful you are here- thank you for taking the time to read, ❤️ and comment! I love hearing from you and it means the world to me that you share some of your time in my little corner on Substack. If you know someone who might enjoy, please share! Have a wonderful long (and stylish) weekend, and happy almost summer!
Dina xx
Oh I loved this! One of my favourite past times in Nice is people watching for the fashion, and I’m always especially in awe of the effortlessness of the 50+ women. I wish we’d celebrate all ages more in fashion and not hyperfixate on the next gen only, you know?
I ate up every word. What joy. Thank you.