The Hamptons: A Grown Ass Woman’s Guide
Part guide, part love letter...
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Ahhhh summer- here in just a couple of weeks! It’s always been my favorite season, and despite feeling the heat differently these days, I still love pretty much everything about it. I grew up in Miami going to the beach year-round, and there’s just something about the ocean- the sound, the smell, the rhythm of it all- that centers me and immediately softens my edges. The moment I spy that wide blue expanse, the moment my feet touch the sand, I exhale.
I’ve been in the Northeast most of my adult life, and always struggled through the colder months. I now spend winters in my home state, but in the many years leading up to this recent migration, there was always a very palpable shift in me when summer approached. The longer, sunny days, the shedding of heavier layers (which always felt a bit metaphoric to me), and the ease of the season; if summer were a drug, it would definitely be an antidepressant, at least in my book.
Back in 2016, after years of dreaming about having a little summer place, and after launching kid-number-one into the world, my husband and I bought a beach house in Springs, New York, one of the many hamlets of the town of East Hampton but a world away in terms of vibe. Quiet, rustic, and bathed in the most magical light, it’s where Jackson Pollock created his infamous drip paintings (true story- he once traded one to pay a grocery tab at the Springs General Store), and where many artists and creatives continue to flock, inspired by that special light, the most incredible sunsets I’ve ever seen, and the natural beauty that abounds.
And that’s the thing about the Hamptons. The towns, villages and hamlets contained within are so much more than the glitz and glamor depicted in movies and on television. Sure, there’s plenty of that, and lots of celebrity spotting (Paul McCartney remains my all-time fave), but there’s also incredible culture, world-class beaches, parks and nature preserves, hiking trails, country farm stands and farmer’s markets, wineries, etc. Each town has a vibe of its own, and depending on your mood, you can pack your days full of activities or, alternatively, just plant yourself on the beach with a great summer read.
Before I jump in, a quick primer to give you a better sense of this place I love so much. When people refer to the Hamptons they are talking about a 50 mile expanse situated on the eastern end of the South Fork of Long Island, New York. The area is actually comprised of two townships, Southampton and East Hampton, and within those townships are a string of towns, villages and hamlets running eastward (about 20 in total, although there has always been some snobby debate about including the towns west of Southampton Village).
I’ll nerd out further and list the 20 different towns, villages and hamlets below so you have a complete picture, along with some of my favorite things to do, eat, see, etc- the Hamptons through my grown-ass lens!
Editors Note: In these guides, we skip the “good for kids” stuff, the overly trendy, the loud, the crowded, the “need to go to be cool” (because you are already cool)...
Getting There:
Driving to the Hamptons from NYC is not for the faint of heart during the summer months, but it is best to have a car to get around once you’re there. Alternatives to the journey from Manhattan are the Hampton Jitney or Ambassador, the Long Island Rail Road (Montauk Branch), or, if you’re willing to spend big, via Blade helicopter or plane (which will get you there in 25 minutes- a girl can dream!). Car rentals are available at the East Hampton Airport Hertz, and you can cab or Uber there to pick up. If you are flying to New York, there’s also an airport in Islip- it’s small and flights are limited, but you can also rent a car there, and the drive will be shorter (between 50-90 minutes) to your Hamptons destination.
Geography (cont.):
Just because it’s good to know… Aforementioned Townships and the string of towns dotting each as you travel eastward)… And note, I spend most of my time in and around East Hampton and environs, so my recs are more heavily focused there, but I also include some in Bridgehampton and Southhampton Village as well.
Southampton Township:
West Hampton Dunes
West Hampton
West Hampton Beach
Quogue
East Quogue
Hampton Bays
Shinnecock Hills
Southampton Village/Tuckahoe
Water Mill
Noyack
North Haven
Bridgehampton
Sagaponack
Sag Harbor (actually lies partly in Southampton Township and Partly in East Hampton Township; hence, a street bearing the name Division.)
East Hampton Township:
Sag Harbor
Wainscott
Northwest Harbor
East Hampton Village
Springs
Amagansett
Montauk
Culture
The Hamptons has a rich art history- it’s known as the cradle of the Abstract Expressionist Art movement, as many of the artists of the day lived and worked here, inspired by the incredible natural beauty. It’s also been a literary hub, with writer residents like John Steinbeck, Kurt Vonnegut, Truman Capote, and Betty Friedan, to name just a few. There’s so much to take in culturally, from art and museums to live music, theater, and an international film festival in the fall (a gorgeous time to be in the Hamptons!).
Parrish Art Museum (Water Mill)- Situated on 14 acres of meadow, the architecture of this simple structure is meant to evoke the sheds and potato barns that the artists of the east end used as studio spaces. The focus here is on modern and contemporary art, and features many artist who have a connection to the Hamptons, including Roy Lichtenstein (whose sculptures greet you before you enter), William De Kooning, Dan Flavin, Ross Bleckner and Cindy Sherman, among others. It’s one of the few museums that allows you to view art in natural light, and is east-end must-visit for art lovers.
Pollock-Krasner House and Study Center (Springs)- This is a truly special place, the former home of Jackson Pollock and Lee Krasner. It provides an intimate look into their lives, and the main home is as it was at the time of Krasner’s death in 1984; inside you’ll get a glimpse of what life was like for the couple, and you’ll see an original Pollock piece, her own art, and rotating exhibitions. In the studio barn on the property you’ll walk the paint stained floor where Pollock would lay his canvases and pour paint to create his infamous drip pieces, which feels a bit like standing on sacred ground. You’ll need to make a reservation, and they book up quickly in the summer so make sure to do well in advance.
On left is a photo by Hans Namuth via pkhouse.org; on right, me in the special footwear provided so you can safely walk the barn floor. Dia Bridgehampton/Dan Flavin Art Institute- Housing Flavin’s signature works in fluorescent light, along with yearly exhibitions of East End artists, this one is on my list this summer.
Southampton Arts Center- I’ll be heading to the Beyond the Streets: Post Graffitti Exhibition this summer, on view from July 17th- August 28th.
Guild Hall (East Hampton)- A true cultural institution dating back to 1931, Guild Hall features multiple art galleries and a theater, and I’ve seen it referred to as an “arts town hall,” which feels accurate. I’ve attended talks here, seen movies, and viewed incredible art exhibitions. Check out the schedule to see what’s happening during your visit.
Longhouse Reserve (East Hampton)- A stunning convergence of nature and art, it’s a lush 16-acres, featuring over 60 works in its outdoor sculpture garden. A truly beautiful place to spend an afternoon.
East Hampton Library’s Authors Night- If you’re a book lover like me, this is a chance to meet some of your favorite writers and like-minded friends. This year’s event takes place Saturday, August 10th, and all proceeds go to benefit the East Hampton Public Library.
Hamptons International Film Festival (Various locations)- The actual film festival takes place in the fall (a gorgeous time to visit), but there is programming all summer, with a documentary series (Summer Docs) and free summer outdoor screenings.
Art Galleries- The Hamptons is a great place to gallery hop, and there’s a concentration of galleries in and around East Hampton. I’ve linked a list for you here.
Eat/Drink
To make this easier to follow I’ll break out by town (but I won’t pay your tab, as most places out her are pretty pricey!). All are open for lunch and dinner unless indicated, and my best advice here is to make reservations wherever possible…
Southampton:
Lunch AKA The Lobster Roll- A branch of the original in Amagansett (The Affair was shot there), this is a great diner style place to grab a lobster roll and and other summer faves.
Tutto Il Giorno (Also in Sag Harbor and smaller format in East Hampton)- I typically go to the Sag Harbor outpost, but both serve delicious Italian food in the most beautiful settings; grab an outdoor table and enjoy the fresh pasta, the spicy tuna tartare, a salad and a cold glass of rosé.
Bridgehampton:
Topping Rose House- I celebrated my 50th birthday here, and it’s probably my favorite food in the Hamptons. Set in an inn of the same name, it’s farm-to-table by Jean Georges, and it’s just consistently good. My must-have here is the crispy salmon sushi and the warm shrimp salad. Also the green chickpea hummus if they have it. And my little secret off-menu drink is the ginger margarita- trust me on this one…
Dopo Il Ponte- Pizzas made in a wood burning oven— need I say more? I used to frequent its sister restaurant in East Hampton which changed format, so I had to check this place out last summer. It did not disappoint.
Elaia Estiatorio- I’m a huge fan of Greek cuisine, and this place has all of the classics. The spreads are excellent, the fish is fresh, and the atmosphere is lively.
Sag Harbor:
Tutto Il Giorno- see above and post-meal, stroll through Donna Karen’s attached lifestyle store, Urben Zen (Donna’s daughter Gabby Karen de Felice and husband own Tutto).
Lulu Kitchen & Bar- I love lingering over lunches here after strolling through the town, and the roasted cauliflower with grapes is a fave. Last time I was there I sat next to Matthew Broderick, but sadly, no SJP sighting!
Sen- There’s not a lot of sushi in the Hamptons, so this is where we go to get our fix! Always fresh and reliable, they don’t take reservations but you can check the wait time online.
Estia’s Little Kitchen- A great down-home local spot for breakfast/brunch that has been around for decades, it always hits the spot.
BuddhaBerry- My favorite frozen, I stop in pretty much any time I’m in Sag Harbor. Lots of flavors and options, including vegan.
Baron’s Cove- A great spot on the harbor, this is a lovely place to listen to live music over lunch, dinner or a drink.
East Hampton:
Nick & Toni’s- An East Hampton institution, this place manages to be low key despite it’s celebrity draw. It was farm-to-table way ahead of its time, and the food is always is reliably good (as are the drinks). My favorites include the zucchini fritti, the fluke crudo and the organic roasted chicken.
East Hampton Grill- Part of the Houston’s chain, I think it’s the familiarity and consistency that draws people and keeps them coming back. It’s got a clubby vibe, and serves up the best martini (vodka, extra dry, extra olives if you’re ordering for me!) in the Hamptons.
Sunset Harbor- A relative new-comer, it’s situated on Three-Mile Harbor in Springs where you can catch a breathtaking sunset while you enjoy delicious Japanese inspired cuisine. Insider tip- Try the happy hour, where a selection of sushi and bites are almost half-off the regular price.
Views from Sunset Harbor- I can feel myself relaxing just looking at these shots... Bostwicks Chowder House and Bostwicks on the Harbor- The chowder house is right off of the highway, and serves exactly the kind of sea shack food just feels like summer- oysters and clams on the half shell, lobster rolls, crab cakes, etc. The harbor location is a bit more upscale, but still a casual vibe. It overlooks Three Mile Harbor and the sunset backdrop is worth the price of admission.
Rita Cantina- I said I’d leave off “loud” but wanted to include this Springs neighborhood gem, because it’s good Mexican food set in a place with some unfortunately bad acoustics. Worth a try if you don’t mind the din with your dinner!
1770 House- Here you can choose fine dining (grab a seat on the patio) or a more casual pub experience downstairs in the tavern. Set in a historic inn, it’s a special night out.
Carissa’s- A favorite breakfast and lunch spot, Carissa’s does all of the baking in-house and serves up the most delicious treats; the avocado toast is the best I’ve ever had, and the seasonal market salad is a fave.
Amagansett:
Il Buco Al Mare- Among the many Italian restaurants in the Hamptons, this is my favorite. Seafood focused featuring imported tinned fish and a wood burning oven, everything I’ve tried on this menu is excellent. The burrata is a must, the forest mushroom ancient grain focaccia is to die, and the grilled stripped bass and black garlic skirt steak are standouts. Also, all of the vegetables! The vibe here is great- casual with the feel of an easy European beach town.
Rowdy Hall- Recently relocated from East Hampton where it had been serving up good pub and bistro fare since 1996. Very casual and always good, I’m eager to try the new location. No reservations here, but you can check wait times online.
Fini Pizza- Born in Brooklyn, this is probably the best pizza in the Hamptons. Bonus, you can get it by the slice- grab one (it’s a take-out place) and sit outside on the square across the street. Try the white pizza that’s finished with lemon, and the tomato version, covered in garlic breadcrumbs.
Coche Comedor and La Fondita- The former was the site of my Paul McCartney spotting (they pack them in here and he had to pass my chair to get out- I asked him as he squeezed by what his secret was because he looks like he’s been frozen in time, and he leans down and says in a low voice ‘sex and drugs’ and laughs!). But back to the food, this is a lively place with good Mexican fare and even better margs. Next door, La Fondita serves up delicious Mexican street food that you can eat outside on picnic tables or take out and bring to the beach.
Doubles- A super casual spot in Amagansett Square with picnic table seating, Doubles serves tasty Caribbean fare. My stepson is still talking about the breakfast roti, and as a lifelong foodie and restaurant industry insider, that guy knows his food!
Clam Bar- A roadside fish shack and Hamptons institution, this is one of the places I’ve been going to since long before I had a home here. It’s a place that just feels like summer. Sit out under the bright yellow umbrellas, grab a lobster roll and some Montauk Pearl oysters, and feel yourself decompress.
This place just feels like summer…
Montauk
Dureya’s- There’s a bit of a scene here, but I really do love sitting out on the lobster deck overlooking Fort Pond Bay. My order is always the same: the lobster cobb salad (it’s expensive but it does feed 3-4) and a basket of the most incredible fries. They don’t take reservations, but it’s worth the wait…
The infamous lobster cobb, fries, and a view from the lobster deck at Dureya's.
Wineries
Wolffer Estate (Sagaponack)- there are a few others on the South Fork but Wolffer makes a good rosé and is also a great place to go on the weekends to listen to live music in the vinyard while you sip it. They also have other events, like yoga in the vines- check the website for offerings.
A Friday night at Wolffer- nothing better than good wine with good friends!
Farmer’s Market & Farm Stands
Round Swamp Farm (East Hampton) There are also outposts in Bridgehampton and Montauk, but my heart belongs to this location, where I once ran into Ina Garten (who was lovely). They make the most delicious prepared foods, and I love everything here. My summer weekends are not complete without the chicken salad (I can’t explain why it’s so good), the guacamole, the chopped salad, and the roasted cauliflower. It’s pricey, but the quality is amazing.
Balsam Farms (Amagansett)- If your cooking, come here for your corn and tomatos (and whatever other seasonal produce your heart desires)- you’ll thank me later.
Springs Farmers Market- Held on the grounds of Ashawagh Hall in Springs on Saturdays, this market feels a bit like a country fair with music, baking contests and a host of excellent vendors- fisherman, farmers, makers, etc. Visit my friend Roey (Sea Gypsy Botanicals) and try her sea salt scrub, a product I can’t live without!
My friend Roey with her botanical products at the Springs Farmer's Market; Right, some of the gorgeous flowers for sale. Amber Waves Farm (Amagansett)- A nonprofit working farm that carries fresh produce, groceries and some excellent prepared food. You can also order take out dishes and eat outside at the picnic tables, and then explore the farm, complete with the most exotic chickens I’ve ever seen.
Stay
I did a little research since I am less well-versed here- it’s been a while since I’ve stayed in a hotel out east but the options are generally smaller inns, some very luxurious and some not so much, bed and breakfasts and old-time motels in Montauk (Editors note- All are overpriced in season- even the not so great ones).
The Reform Club (Amagansett)- A quiet, high end property surrounded by lush gardens and communal areas, close (walkable) to town and a short ride to the beach (they will drive you there or anywhere else you want to go). The guest cottages and suites look amazing, with an option for in-room spa treatments and fresh breakfast delivered each morning.
Ocean Colony (Amagansett/Nepeague)- I have stayed at this more wallet-friendly co-op- it’s a no-frills, and the units are owned by individuals who rent them out through a management company, so it can be a bit of a crap shoot. But the stretch of beach it sits on is magnificent, and kept me coming back for years before we purchased a home.
East Hampton Point (Springs)- A nine acre waterfront resort featuring suites and cottages, a great looking pool, tennis courts, and a gorgeous location on Three Mile Harbor in Springs where you’ll end the day with the most incredible sunsets (top photo was taken here). There’s a great little coffee shop on the premises, as well as two restaurants, Sunset Harbor (see above) and Si Si.
Marram Montauk- I have attended events here and if I needed a place to stay, I would definitely check-in. The property is stunning, nestled in the dunes and overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. There’s a very cool surfer vibe, evening fire pits, fireside chats, creative workshops, yoga (my friend teaches here), nature walks, etc.
Shop
There are so many places to shop in the Hamptons- everything from the highest-end designers to beautifully curated boutiques to beachy souvenir shops. My suggestion is to hit the towns and wander. If you’re looking for a Rodeo Drive vibe, East Hampton is the place, featuring Chanel, Gucci, Prada, Ralph Lauren, Brunello Cucinelli, Nili Lotan, etc. For a nice upscale edit, hit Tenet (also in Southampton), and check out the Monagram Shop for great hostess gifts and Book Hampton for your beach reads. Over in Sag Harbor, check out Matriark (I love the description as “a community of women with real lives and an eye for style”) and Joey Wolfer for flowy beach dresses, boho vibes, and unique vintage finds from all over the world. There’s also a great book store, Sag Harbor Books. Head to Amagansett Square for a great mix of shops, including Ulla Johnson, Jenni Kayne, Love Adorned for vintage and artisanal jewelry, and then head across the street to The Warm Store, beautifully curated for “urban hippies” by a husband/wife team who seek warmth in people, places, and objects. And if you’re a Row fan, there’s a new outpost there just outside the square.
Other Things to Do/See
Take a ride to the Montauk Point Lighthouse
At the Montauk Point Lighthouse in the 80's, and later in 2019 with my mama. Take a yoga class at Mandala in Amagansett
Listen to live music at Main Beach (East Hampton) on a summer Tuesday Night.
Tuesday night’s at Main Beach with great friends and great music… Take a ride on Gerard Drive in Springs, a beautifully scenic street surrounded by Accabonac Harbor on one side and Gardiner’s Bay on the other.
Rent a Paddle board and spend the day on Georgica or Sagg Pond.
Go for a hike on one of many beautiful trails.
And of course, go to the beach! Most require parking permits but some allow you to pay a day fee. Two of my favorites are Main Beach in East Hampton and Atlantic Beach in Amagansett, and at least as of last summer, both offered daily parking for a fee. There’s no chair rentals, so you’ll need to bring your own, and to get around parking rules, you can take an Uber. Here’s a list of all Hamptons beaches with relevant info.
Dr. Beach just named Main Beach in East Hampton one of the best in the country- I concur!
Happy Almost Summer! If you’re planning a trip to the Hamptons, I hope this was helpful, and feel free to DM or e-mail me with any questions! As always, I am so grateful you are here! Please share if you know of someone who would enjoy, and comment if there’s something you think I should add to the list!
A post after my own heart having spent summers in a house in Montauk across from Ditch Plains — where I lived for resident surfer Cynthia Rowley sightings — met my husband at The Talkhouse (how I used to stay up until 3am every weekend listening to bands I’ll never know) and then got married at East Hampton Point. I, too, was a huge fan of seeing Paul McCartney — mine was always at Starbucks in EH!
So great Dina and what a beautiful snippet of East End life! I appreciate your thoughtful essays and how you graciously bring us along to learn and discover!